When Mum Doesn’t Get Sick Days.

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that only single parents understand.

It’s the type that sinks into your bones and makes your whole body feel heavy.

The kind where you’re sick, exhausted, aching… and still the only adult in the room.

This week I came down with a sinus infection, the kind that takes over one side of your face, makes your teeth hurt, your eye throb, and sleep impossible. Antibiotics, paracetamol, steam inhalers, the whole thing. And yet… the morning routine didn’t stop. The meals didn’t cook themselves. The football class didn’t cancel itself just because I couldn’t breathe properly.

I still showed up.

I still parented.

I still did it all.

I didn’t have the luxury of rest, because when you’re a single mum, your body doesn’t get sick days. You don’t clock out. The world doesn’t pause for you.

And doing all of this while unwell hit a different part of my heart, the part that remembers the early months after giving birth, when I was recovering from surgery, drowning in anxiety, and still parenting through it with almost no support. It reminded me of how many times I’ve done this alone. And how many times I’ve survived it.

When You’re Sick, You Notice Everything More

Parenting while unwell makes everything louder:

• the crying
• the neediness (which is never their fault)
• the pressure of the clock
• the mess
• the responsibility
• the mental load
• the fact that you’re the only one who’s going to do anything

Even the simplest tasks, like making dinner, feels like climbing a hill in the rain. I wanted to be patient with my son; I always want to. But it was one of those weeks where just holding myself upright felt like an achievement.

That’s the bit no one talks about, the guilt that creeps in when you can’t give your child the attention, the playfulness, the presence you usually give so naturally. And yet you still push through, because that’s what mums do.

The Moment That Hit Me

When Brodie’s dad came round to see him, I’d already told him I was unwell.

He walked in, saw me clearly struggling, and… nothing.

No “Is there anything I can do to help?”

No “You’ve done amazing today.”

No acknowledgement at all.

Instead, he launched into his own problems, work stress, people “stabbing him in the back,” a whole emotional monologue I didn’t have the capacity to hold.

And in that moment, something in me clicked.

I don’t need emotional support from him.

And I don’t expect it anymore.

But I can notice the absence without blaming myself for it.

It was a reminder of why we’re not together. Why I’m healing. Why I’ve grown so much.

It was a reminder that I deserve gentleness. I deserve support. I deserve reciprocity, and I’m learning to give those things to myself.

I simply said “Okay,” set a boundary, told him what Brodie needed, and went to rest.

The old me would have tried to care-take his emotions even while sick.

The new me refuses to do that anymore.

Doing the Work Alone Doesn’t Make You Weak, It Makes You Superhuman

Parenting through sickness is one of the hardest parts of single motherhood. It makes you confront, in a very physical way, just how much you do and how invisible it often is.

But it also showed me something else:

I’m so much stronger now.

So much clearer.

So much more grounded in my worth.

And the truth is, even on days when I’m exhausted and hurting, my son is held.

He’s loved.

He’s cared for.

He’s safe.

By me.

And that’s the kind of mother I’m proud to be.

To any mum reading this who’s parenting through pain or sickness…

You are doing an incredible job.

Even if you’re lying on the floor while your toddler drives cars up your legs.

Even if the dinner is late.

Even if the patience isn’t perfect.

Even if you’re surviving more than thriving today.

You are still showing up.

Your child will remember your love, not your sick days.

And if no one has said this to you lately,

I’m proud of you.