Introduction
When I reflect on my own experiences and interactions with men throughout my life, there has always been a common thread: misogyny.
Whether it’s controlling behaviour, sexist jokes, devaluing me, or a lack of empathy and respect — it’s something all women have experienced or will experience in their lifetime. And now that I have a son, I find myself thinking about the kind of man I want him to grow into.
A man who sees women as equals, who upholds strong moral values, and who isn’t afraid to show emotional depth.
But I’m under no illusion: no matter how hard I work to nurture this, socialisation will inevitably play a role in shaping him.
The Message Boys Hear
Let’s start with the rigid gender norms that are ingrained in us from early childhood — the idea that boys must grow up to be ‘real men’: strong, dominant, emotionally reserved.
I’ve caught myself a few times calling my son “strong” when referring to his physical strength. So now I make a point of calling myself strong too — so he knows that strength isn’t just a “boy” thing.
As he gets older, I’ll continue to teach him that being strong can also mean showing resilience, empathy, inner strength, and willpower.
My son has a pink Henry Hoover toy. I call him beautiful every single day. I was so sure about keeping his long, curly hair, no matter what others said. These choices aren’t about denying his identity — they’re about expanding it. I wanted a son more than anything, but I don’t believe pink toys, soft words, or long hair should ever define or confine his gender. I also want him to grow up understanding that masculinity can coexist with softness, beauty, and choice.
The Untapped Power of Women
Since becoming a mum, I haven’t been able to shake this thought: women could single-handedly stop the progression of the human race.
If every woman on this planet decided not to procreate, humanity would become extinct.
Women quite literally hold the power to create life — and yet, we’re still treated as the inferior sex.
Why?
Why Does Misogyny Exist?
Misogyny exists because it serves power.
It’s rooted in centuries of patriarchy — a system where men have historically held most of the social, political, and economic power. Women were seen as property, considered less intelligent, and primarily valued for reproduction and caregiving.
Over time, this hierarchy became so normalised it embedded itself into culture, religion, media, law, and family structures.
In ancient Greece, philosophers like Aristotle claimed women were biologically inferior. In many religious texts, women were portrayed as temptresses or helpers, not equals. Even in recent history, women were denied the right to vote, own property, or work independently.
Misogyny didn’t just happen. It was designed.
The Psychology Behind It
Some of it is fear-based: fear of losing power, fear of emotional vulnerability, and fear of women asserting autonomy.
We see this playing out today — especially on social media, with influencers like Andrew Tate and others appealing to men’s need for dominance, control, and identity through misogyny.
They’re selling toxic ideals dressed up as confidence and success.
Misogyny is going viral
Nearly 70% of Boys Encounter Online Misogyny.
A Vodafone survey found that around 7 in 10 boys in the UK have seen posts promoting misogyny. 42% of parents reported hearing their sons repeat inappropriate or demeaning comments about women. Over half had engaged with manosphere-type content.
This is deeply worrying. Misogyny has become a trend.
All it takes is one boy seeing harmful content online and sharing it with his friends. And with easy access to porn and sexually suggestive content on platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok — it’s nearly impossible to shield our boys entirely.
Recently, Ofcom introduced required age checks in the UK for accessing porn sites, including facial recognition and ID verification. At least this is a step in the right direction.
So, What Can We Do?
I hope that by the time my son is older, we’ll have stronger protections in place for children online. But in the meantime, the responsibility falls on me, his dad, and our wider family to actively teach him about equality.
That means:
- Raising him to be emotionally literate.
- Speaking openly about power, respect, and fairness.
- Calling out language and media that degrade women.
- Modelling healthy, equal relationships.
These are quiet choices, but they matter — because the world will try to tell him who to be, and I want him to know he always had a choice.
The Legacy We Leave
I’m not raising a son to fit into the world’s outdated boxes — I’m raising him to question them, to reshape them, to rise above them.
We are responsible for this generation of boys. It’s up to us — collectively — to make sure that girls and women can grow up in a world where they are safe, respected, and valued. The legacy we leave will have a significant impact on generations to come.
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